My son loved the water even before his birth
I know because as an infant taking baths
he would smile, that same immaculate smile
I remember seeing in his ultrasound pictures
Clearly through her amniotic fluid
A face still forming but a perfect finished smile
Those were his first swimming lessons
And because of him we learned to swim too
First at Virginia Beach, then in fall
We joined the “Y” and took vacations always
Where there was an ocean, lake or pond
Eventually we put in a pool with a diving board
And dived headfirst into that lifestyle repeatedly
Submerged with him in that weightlessness
I felt more like his twin than his father
Then at 16 we came home and found him
Not swimming, but floating, his body
Bloating on water he could not breath
The air left my lungs like a vacuum
The only water I saw for months were tears
Now even rain on my forehead reminds me of that
Minister sprinkling holy water at his Christening
I long to be with him again
I long to see him again
I am told that will require my baptism
But I am still afraid to wade the water

-2004